“Give up, just tonight, ‘night, ‘night.”

Keanu Estrada
2 min readMar 5, 2023

Globally, people average 6 hours 58 minutes of screen time per day.

I cannot explain the feeling. all alone, the loneliness.

I cannot explain the feeling; all alone.

I hope and pray that we are together, no matter the weather.

I get lost sometimes.

I hope and pray that we are together, no matter the weather.

It gets hard to find.

Somewhere in 2017, I’m dropping a college friend off at Amtrak after class, and I ask them, “You think I could make 100k?”

“Yeah, I think you can make 100k.”

I don’t believe so yet, but I appreciate those words of affirmation.

In 2023, seven years later, I make less than that.

Paying 3k monthly for an apartment ain’t it, dawg.

February, my credit runnin’ up a stack.

$600 birthday dinners at Morton’s for my brother. Gifts. Gifts. Gifts.

Hundreds of dollars on the patogonia, hiking boots, plane tickets etc.

“It’s not an accident he was as good as he was. He made himself that by putting in the work.” — Brian Shaw on Kobe

“If you wanna talk that talk, put some money on it.” — Kobe

“When you pay your dues, your dues pay you back.” — Kobe

3 months go by…

Back to your bad habits.

(That’s just how we cope, i’m blaming myself- ACCOUNTABILITY)

I escape places in my mind

Where she’s no longer there.

And I travel all the way around.

Just to get back here,

& she’s somewhere, over there.

But, I’m here.

So, I’m here, now.

And it’s just me alone.

With coping mechanisms.

6:30 am, Saturday, online, at home.

“I, I need you to leave, leave, leave.”

Fix flaws by attention. A vision of love. A vessel of love.

Water. Food. Education. Medicine. Shelter.