If I don’t fight for what I love, it don’t matter.

Keanu Estrada
3 min readFeb 20


I want to have connections, and people in my life.

Same amount of tired on Thursday, as riding the bus as driving the car.

I got tired of listening to music in the car, on the way home from work, this week, after traveling to Portland to celebrate a friend’s birthday.

Both my brothers were married at 25.

Pop’s says I’m still searching for a perfect girl, but he also says, there isn’t a perfect girl (02.18.23)

All I ever wanted is to be with my girl on all-star weekend.

Lit from Within. (February 10, 2023)

Come to me in my dreams, if you love me too.

Come to me in my dreams, if you love me, like I love you.

Personal life affects the professional life, a colleague told me. (2023)

Professional life affects the personal life, a colleague told me. (2023)

Physical health and mental health connected, a colleague told me. (2023)

I remember when no company was hiring me. (2018-2019)

I remember sending out applications, and getting no messages back.


She said don’t mind the companies who ghost you, keep applying.

(January, 2023)

Why can’t you, believe in yourself, keep learning, fake it till you make it. (2023)

I remember afternoons and nights I had to spend in the dishroom.


Not even eating lunch, in my car, just laying down in my seat; processing. (2020)

I can’t really believe this is my life after graduating college. (2019)

Washing dishes at Whole Foods. (2019–2020)

I remember days I was asked to work double shifts. (2019–2020)

I remember Nordstrom warehouse wanted me to be a cashier because my request for work accommodations was an undue hardship for the company. (2021)

I remember canvassing outside Berekely Bowl, for grocery shoppers to donate money to non-profits. (2019)

I remember Warriors fans saying I ruined her day, literally in tears, because I didn’t let her go up the escalator, and told her to go around.

(Sep 2021– Sep 2022)

I remember having to shop for groceries and bag them for a job in a pandemic. (September 2020– October 2021)

I remember having to stand on my feet for 8 hours; dishwashing, or 4 hours; wayfinding and checking tickets.

(November 2019– September 2022)

I remember getting the door slammed in my face when I was working the 2020 Census, I remember not passing the exam, and feeling I’m stupid. (August, 2020)

I remember waking up at 3 am to shop for customer’s groceries. (2021)

“I can see a thousand years from now in real life.”


I ain’t hit it yet.

5 to 5, on my Larry Itliong sh*t.

Seein’ 33’s, happy and financially free; are you happy for me?

777, like Sunshine, Big Latto.

If I don’t fight for what I love, it don’t matter.

If I don’t make the world a better place, so what?